Rosh Hashanah

No, I have not converted to Judaism, but it seems a fitting holiday. Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year. But it was when I read this that made me think that it fit: the Jewish New Year is a time to begin introspection, looking back at the mistakes of the past year and planning the changes to make in the new year.

Truly the Hestad's are at a time of introspection, looking over our mistakes of the past and planning big changes for the new year. I'm excited! I hope Dan is feeling excitement at the possibilities.

Keep praying.

My journal from Jane came today and she included a little note. On the note she put Joel 2:23, of course I had to look it up. The Scripture just fit with the day...So rejoice, O sons of Zion, And be glad in the LORD your God; For He has given you the early rain for your vindication. And He has poured down for you the rain, The early and latter rain as before.

In the Hands of God

I could of easily taken Jonathan Edwards title, "Sinners in the hands of an angry God", but while we are sinners saved by grace, God is not angry. Today, I wanted to write, but instead went to Sunday School in support of Dan. His class was full! He taught one of the best lessons ever out of Deuteronomy 6.

This morning was the first time I've seen him since our decision to close the business the second week in October (this is when the cows leave.) He actually looks relieved. Of course there is the worry of how we are going to pay off the business bills. This wouldn't be a problem if a couple of horses would sell, and there is the little problem of how we will make it till he finds some work. But all in all, relief is the feeling of the moment. Today just looks brighter and happier.

Last night I finished up all my postings for this last class, and today I am working on my last paper. My plan is to spend break re-doing Assignment 1 and then working on the dissertation. (I wanted to go see Drew but nows not a good time.) By the end of that week I should have the paperwork moving forward and hopefully by December see the pay raise.

Just keep praying...God is in control. We would like to close the door owing no one any money. That will only happen if God allows a horse to sale. Also, Dan needs a job. I would like to see him start back to school and finish his degree, but we shall see.

Quote

Have patience with everything

that remains unsolved in your heart.

Try to love the questions themselves...

At present you need to live the questions.

Perhaps, you will gradually, without

even noticing it, find yourself

experiencing the answer.

-Rainer Marie Rilke, Poet

This was posted on twowritingteachers seems almost written for me.

Also, go check this out

Update

Okay, this is an update on the situation at the Hestad Manor. Dan is looking at disbanning everything the second week in October. We've talked to others in the business and it looks like this downturn in the economy could have an adverse effect on the horse business for a couple of years. That is if things turn around Monday. I talked to an old friend this week and he says that if the government doesn't have something settled by Monday...we are all in for a rocky road.

So, I'm going to start working on a resume for Dan. A lot of places have online application processes. Unfortunately, this is all taking place in the midst of another paper being due, report cards, SACS visit, and various other things.

Matt came home last night. He was so cute. He's come home to minister to his parents! Last night after I went to bed he cleaned the house. Today he is going to go spend the day with his Dad. I think that is too sweet! He is very worried about if he is going to be able to keep up his grades. The animal science professor last test had questions on it that were never touched on in class. College Algebra is still causing him stress, but he wants to stick it out.

Gabe wants to know if Daddy stops working with horses and gets a job will we get to go on a vacation. Interesting...

Last night Denise came over and stayed during the football game. I fixed tacos and everyone had a good time. She sent Matt to get her cigarettes and then told him to put gas in the jeep with the rest of the money.

So in light of all of this we need you to pray very specifically. We need to sell two horses. I think we should keep Matt's horse and Earl will keep him for us. If we can't sell one of the horses, we need the man Dan is partnered with to buy out Dan's part. Dan needs a job. He is scheduled to judge a big show in November, so we need something in between. He has to go to a training seminar in October (money for that). Judging jobs would help tremendously.

Thanks.

Things May Be Looking Up

Dan and I had a long talk tonight. Not the kind where you sit down and have a face to face discussion, but over the telephone. Turned out to be a great discussion! We talked for over two hours, discussing all the things that have transpired in the last year. Finally, it felt like he heard me. I hope so! I pray that God will show Dan the steps he needs to take to get things moving in the right direction.

So tonight pray for Dan. Pray for our family. And pray for our future.

Still Not Feeling the Inspiration

I did notice that a certain art teacher has branched way out of late! artatstark is WONDERFUL!

I'm anxious for payday. I really feel that we need a break. Apparently, I need to get busy on my dissertation, because I think I'm going to have to give my first orals before I get money! I had so thought that was happening soon! Hoping praying!!!!

But until then I have report cards to get done this week!

Something More

Some days I won't this blog to be something more. Something that inspires folks to live a better life, be a better teacher, find encouragement for the journey. Alas, I think that it is far from that! However, I'm thankful I can tune into these blogs for inspiration:

Twowritingteachers they just make me want to be a better teacher.

twentytwowords his father is a famous pastor and author, yet he takes his readers on a unique journey

jane over at 54 and more she's crafty, Godly, and encouraging

rocksinmydryer she seems to have a nose for web happenings

amicksarticles I loved the info on Steinhouses blog page

girlgroit I love all things New York. I'm fascinated with the big city. It is hard to imagine a bakery in town and eating fresh bread.

However, it needs to be noted that unlike this girl in experiment land I have yet to see all of Georgia. For instance: the Zoo, the little Grand Canyon, Jimmy Carter's Birthplace, heard Jimmy Carter teach Sunday School, Cumberland Island, Jekyll Island, and many more places.

And I enjoy everyday checking in with the adventures of monkey , pioneer woman, life here, and there are more.

Still I long to leave words of wisdom upon this earth, to those I encounter, and more. Yet, I whine and bemoan my existance, when in actuality someone always has it worse. Unfortunately, here you will find no encouragement for today, but only a prayer request.

Today, Dan made a statement that he was ready for a change. This would be doable with a house on a little piece of land where he could have a barn and a few cows. (This is why we stay in the position we are in...) It would seem that with the economy so bad, surely there is a piece of level, pasture land out there for a price we could afford on my salary. So tonight when you go to sleep...PRAY...PRAY that God will show us a little piece of land, that Dan will sell three horses, and find a job. Now how hard is all this for God!!!! Pray that I have strength to believe that God's answers are on the way!

Perhaps tomorrow I can turn this into an inspirational site!

Another Project

Greetings from Project Land! That's right Gabe and I (and Gunter) have completed yet another project (our 4th in 3 weeks). This is Standards Based Education with an Attitude!

You see I am supposedly a quasi-expert on standards these days. I have had indepth training. Yet, I can not assign these type of projects to my students, because of the ones who will not do it or have no parent help on one, no computer, no one to help get pictures, etc. Yet, private school teachers who have had no indepth training in standards based education, they just read the standards, are able to assign and get quality work.

Gabe's project is a family tree. It goes along with a classroom reading assignment and will count 80% of his grade. With this visual he also is expected to bring in some family heirlooms. That is where the project is falling apart at the moment! And guess what if a student doesn't do it, they get a "0". Does anyone remember those days?

The project has pictures of Grandparents, Mom, Dad, and brothers. It also has a visual representation of what they like to do. For instance, Grandma is a crossword, Grandpa is a man in a recliner, my dad is a motorcycle, Gabe is a gaming controller, and I'm a cook. You get the idea. Anyway, this project is good, but Gabe also has to get up and tell (not read) his family history.

All very interesting, and I'm the quasi-standards based expert!

I won!!!

I won something today!!!! Jane is celbrating her one year blog anniversary and I won this beautiful journal she made. Can you tell I'm excited?

Isn't it lovely!!!! And a bit exotic like me!!!!!!!!

Items of Gratitude for the day:

1. WON Jane's giveaway

2. It is Friday and I feel like cleaning my house!

3. I only worked a half day.

4. F and I ate lunch at Jimmy's. (Love those Chicken Fingers)

5. Got online with Charter and they fixed the problem with the living room tv.

6. Gunter made a beautiful tree to help Gabe with his next project.

7. Matt is now in full charge of upkeep of the pepper plants (learned valuable lesson's on peppers).

8. Gabe is eating leftovers.

9. I have two days off.

I'm not even upset about Matt wanting to drop a class at school!

Quotes

It seems like everyone is posting quotes lately. Well I know this will be a strange quote to some, but sor some reason it just hits me. The quote is from the movie Evening. Merle Streeps character says this to the daughters of her friend. Basically she's refering to the fact that their mother had a whole life and raised two children. It fits.....see what you think....

We are mysterious creatures, aren't we? And at the end so much of it turns out not to matter.

For some odd reason I like the fact that there is a part of me that no one knows.

An Attitude of Gratitude

Okay, I'm probably not a very grateful person. I never quite know how to respond. So in an effort to be more grateful, I am going to find joy in small things.

1. Mine and F.'s LEXIA is finished.
2. NH and me are helping new teacher get hers finished.
3. One of my parents gave me a new brown shirt.
4. Same parent gave me a book bag.
5. Matt called a wrecker to get his car, the man started it, and didn't charge Matt anything.
6. Dan got enought money to pay the rest of the bills.
7. I only have to do a video observation this year.
8. Only four more weeks of qualitative research.
9. Dr. isn't too worried about my health problems, we have a plan.
10. We had food to eat, that I had put in the crock pot this morning.
11. I have good friends!

I will not focus on the fact that
1. My paycheck will be smaller next month because of paying the total insurance.
2. The company that controls our 401K went belly up!
These are things I can't change.

Where I'm From

I am not much of a poet, but I'm starting to appreciate the art of teaching poetry. Thanks in part to twowritingteachers. Anyway today I came upon this lesson plan for teaching family history with this poem. So I had to try my hand and want each of you to go over and give it a try.

Where I Am From

I am from wringer washing machines,
Grapette soda pop and peanuts.
I am from hard working folks.
I am from the memosia tree that stood beside our house,

with its feathery pink seeds that stood forever,
where we sat under in the hot Oklahoma evenings,
as we watched fireflies buzz round our heads.

I’m from family history that pre-dated statehood,
From drag racing, a truck driver, and a data entry clerk.
I am from tuna fish, potato salad, and real mayonnaise.
I am from teenage parents, sickness and pain,
Carl and Snickey.

I am from pecan pies and Sweet Garrett snuff,
from Alice and Harry,
I’m from roughnecks, fishermen, preachers, and teachers.
I’m from The Lord is my Shepard and
I ain’t a gonna do it.
I’m from Sunday School, Training Union, Camp Nunny Cha-ha and Falls Creek.

I’m from Vernice and Woodrow’s Branch,
from outdoor plumbing, taking baths in creeks, and homemade ice cream.
From rolling cigarettes, churning butter, milkin' cows,

and sleeping outside under the stars.

In my closet boxes of pictures are scattered all about,
pictures of family gatherings, of loved ones long gone
and the hope of future generations to come.
I am from those moments—
full of love and kindness-

that make me who I am today.

You've got to give this a try. I love it!!!!!

The Straw That Broke This Camel's Back

Okay, I think there is no more of me left! Last night Matt called and the Jeep won't start. Not the best time, considering that gas has sky rocketed this weekend. In addition to the fact we have NO money for an emergency. Add that to the fact that I have caught something. I've been up most of the night with fever, drainage, aches and pains. On top of the pre-existing ailments. I'm done finished!

BB has a solo Sunday morning that talks about God is right on time. Well I'm thinking now would be a good time! I've got a paper to write and I think I'll be in bed most of the day. Hope to emerge on Monday morning.

Being Thankful in the Little Things

Does anyone remember the book, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, and it is all small stuff, it came out a few years ago and was a big hit. Well I'm modifying the concept some and trying to be thankful for the small things. You see I need GOD to do big things! So I'm not real thankful for the small, but today was different. First, I had to make an appointment to see a doctor in Macon. I'm going to Macon on Monday for a conference and needed (for time and money reasons) to kill two birds with one stone (so to speak). Well I call and they can see me at exactly the right time on Monday. Then, Dan sat his phone on top of the truck, forgot and saw it fly off and land on the road. When he gets back it is in three pieces, but he manages to put it together and it worked. Next, Dr. E calls and needs a TSS for the new teacher. F suggest I go ahead and she will fill in if needed. Again a little thing!

See I no longer can see God's purpose in any of this that is going on. I literally am consumed with pain, both physical and mental. So I need to start by identifying the small stuff! Last night BB said to me, "Everybody has a story." I know this is true, but often we miss the beauty in the story because we are busy living it!

Perhaps the blue bird of happiness will rest on my shoulders soon!

Today Something Happened

Today started out like any other day - Busy. I had planned to read this book:
I read it every year and it is one of my favorites. It has produced some good writing. Well today, I had gone to an IEP meeting and my student teacher read the book while I was out. When I got back I noticed one of my favorite little boys looked terrible. His eyes were swelling. I ask if he's okay and he says yes. I went about my business and started doing LEXIA again. Suddenly, he comes up and I'm thinking he's having some type of allergic reaction. (This is one of my favorite kiddos.) I quickly got out of LEXIA (MS will never look so smart again!) Then rushed him outside, I thought I was going to have to call the EMTs.

When we got outside I said KT what is wrong. He busted out crying, "My dog died yesterday!" (In the book Grandma dies.) He falls apart. My heart is breaking!!! He goes on a walk with Mrs. T and I go back in the room. When a little girl comes up to me and says, "You don't know about KT do you?"

"What is it?" I responded.

"Well, KT's mom has cancer. It's the really bad kind. And his daddy left them cause he didn't like them anymore. They are living in his grandparent's basement. You probably need to talk to HH's mom, she is trying to help them. "

WHOA! I thought I was going to loose it! My precious boy!! And the state of Georgia wants you to learn division, reading, writing, and everything else or your labeled a failure. When all you are trying to do is survive. And your dog dies!!!!!!!! Your crazy teacher not knowing any of this reads a sad book and you loose it.

I'm sorry little man. I want to heal all your wounds and love you forever and ever! We never know what a day may hold.

Happy 1st Anniversary!

Today this couple is celebrating their first anniversary! I hope they had a joyful day!

It Could Be Worse

Does anyone like going to the dentist? Well I am one of those people who needs to be sedated to get in the door. I HATE it! When I was about 5 a dentist tried to fill a tooth and it wasn't deadened all the way. So began my long torturous affair with dentist.

At 7, I had to have major oral surgery (The one thing my Daddy gave me was his teeth.) Dr. Barnes, knocked me out and I loved him. I was with him for 17 years. I went in when I was pregnant with Drew and he says, "Did you know your pregnant?" I guess my gums were bleeding profusely and he said it was a give away sign. Anyway, then we moved.

In Colorado, the dude was something else. I've tried to block it for years!

Now it is Dr. F. I like him well enough for a dentist. However, even with dental insurance the skyrocketing cost are unbelievable!

So you get the idea I hate going to the dentist, but I go. So I walk in today and their is a former parent in the waiting room who looks at me and says, "You look TERRIBLE! How long have you been feeling bad?" I could of cried. Of course the conversation went to alternative medicine, which I am not against. I guess what gets me is I've been to doctors for the last year and no one can fix it. Now the B12 shot doesn't seem to be working. So what is wrong with me? Could it be stress over school (work) and (college), stirred up with a touch of depression over finances, fold in various physical ailments and then sprinkled with three children (of my own) and 48 more.

So there is nothing like a day of work, a trip to the dentist, followed by a reminder that you look terrible!

Hey, did somebody throw in there that I'm fat as well!

Looking towards the Heavens for Help

Every feel worn out from traveling on the road of life? Psalms 40 gives us hope:

I waited on the Lord;

he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand. (vs. 1-3)

Many, O Lord my God,

are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us

no one can recount to you; (vs. 5a)

Do not withhold your mercy from me, O Lord;

may your love and your truth always protect me.
For troubles without number surround me;

my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.

They are more than the hairs of my head,

and my heart fails within me. (vs 11-12)

Be pleased, O Lord, to save me
O Lord, come quickly to help me. (vs. 13)

Yet, I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
O my God, do not delay. (vs. 17)

Good Morning Friends!

Well I need to get busy, but instead I'm reading blog post, something that has got to stop. Please go check out this blog. This woman truly loves fall. She lives in the Ozark Mountains and isn't the view absolutely breathtaking!

Also, go check out my girls. Ruth wrote the sweetest post about a little first grader.

You might want to drop in and read Jane's blog. Jane encourages me. We like the same stuff. We read the same books. But honestly when she posted the picture with her tea in the Mary Englebriet cup, well that was too much. (Remember me using the same magnet for encouragement last month.)

Now at some point today I've got to write a paper, clean house, do 6 loads of laundry (Matt's back), and worry about something I'm sure. The big event of the day is that for Matt's Birthday, Dan is taking Matt and Gabe to a Braves Game! I'm sending the camera and threatening to hurt Dan if he doesn't get pictures!

I also brought home 50 writing project posters to grade. I hope to get the other 50 done Monday. (I've done 18 already)

Have more fun than I will this weekend. (My class ends on October 16th. I'd like to have all work complete before our break.) Pray that God opens doors so that I can go see Drew over my break!

Love to all on this beautiful morning. (I didn't know we had temperatures in the 60's anymore).

LIFE - The Gory Details

Thank goodness it is Friday. Matt walked in with his large load of laundry! Still good to see the birthday boy. Gabe did okay on all his projects. The horseshow is canceled. So tomorrow I can work on another paper. I've fixed chips and dip for Matt's B-day dinner.

I still am having trouble with the cyst, no energy and pain. I'm tired of not feeling good. Need a break.

Then there is always Dan drama and one day when I am dead God will allow Dan, the boys and all of you know exactly how hard all this is on me! Till then my lips are sealed.

Must be a better dieter. Need to get special diet food!

Is it Saturday yet?

Today:

*Went to WW didn't lose any weight.
*Gabe announces three projects are due tomorrow. (He put them off because he needed to rest)
*Matt got a job working with the UGA Horticultural Extension. He will be doing research on pecans and muscidines. Sounds fun!
*Drew called and WANTED to talk for an hour
*TB dropped by to discuss Sunday School Christmas Party
*Heard all the places Secretary of Education stopped in to visit today!
*Gave 2nd simple assessment on sentence types, there are about 25 out of 120 that have no clue.
*Cooked supper

Pray for Dan tomorow!

Wednesday

Wednesday...middle of the week, hump day, day before lesson plans have to be turned in, church night...exhaustion. I've been really tired lately, and meant to call the doctor today and see if any test results were back. (Nothing yet) Of course it might be just the hurricanes churning around us.

We are canceling the horse show this weekend, the hurricane's impending arrival would mean that the facility we usually use is also the designated livestock shelter. So I don't know whether to be relieved or not.

Matt called and may have a date tonight. Gabe lost his wallet at school today, it had his bus fee check in it and some other important things. I was fixing to go to church when Ryan arrived for a visit. I hate to leave now. Tried to call Dan and can't get him. So it goes. I think I'm going to put my feet up.

Tomorrow is picture day at school, plus the State Secretary of Education (or State Superintendent) is coming!

It is fall and again that magical time in my life when football rules.

I know that I have lived in Georgia for 15 years now and on most days Georgia feels like home.

That is until football season rolls around.

Then there is only one team for me

That's right "Boomer Sooner".

I can't remember when it started it has just always been.

I was born into a family of football fans. I remember Mymomma sharing tales of the glory years with Bud Wilkenson. Then came Barry Switzer. My 14th birthday present was a trip to see the Sooners play. They played Wake Forest and beat them 54 to 0. Not much of a game, but it didn't matter I was there.

Now my brother lives in Norman. Occasionally he goes to a game and I'm sure if I called today and said, "I'm coming in for a game." He would make it happen.

The crazy thing about my obsession with the Sooners is the fact that my children and husband are all fans. Drew is my only child born in Oklahoma. So I'm thinking this is heredity! Yesterday, Matt ask me if I knew the whole fight song, I knew the main parts and then looked up the rest. I'm thinking it needs to be put on my tombstone:

I'm a Sooner born and Sooner bred and when I die, I'll be Sooner dead

Until that day - BOOMER SOONER!