The Tree

This year we were driving by a local plant store on Keys Ferry and saw these beautiful trees, so in the pouring rain, we pulled in. The man had just gone to NC and picked up a beautiful load of Frazier Firs. They were reasonably priced, so we bought it. The boys were unimpressed...they should be lucky we didn't go fake!
I need to take photography lessons from MonkeyBean, but for now this is it!

Another Wonderful Visit

Yesterday, we headed west. We went to see our friends from Colorado, who moved to Pennsylvania when we did, and now live in Peachtree City. Denitia's parents have now moved to Peachtree City as well and her disabled brother. Her dad was chairman of the deacons when Dan was ordained a deacon. He retired as head of the Department of Education at Western State College in Gunnison. Then they returned to Abiline, Texas, where for the past 20 years they worked as house parents at Hendrick's Childrens Home where he was raised. It was wonderful to reconnect with such wonderful people. Now they are content to pick Levi up everyday from school (Levi is Norris and Denitia's adopted son, they have three girls too.) Someday I need to blog about living in Colorado.

One thing I can say is that Peachtree City is very crowded compared to the Wilderness we've chosen to live in. Denitia and Norris live in a subdivision where people are racked and stacked. Made me appreciate my 5 acres.

Anyway, Denitia had tons of food (literally), everything was great. She had cooked for days!! When we lived in Pennsylvannia, they ate nearly every meal with us, Denitia didn't cook. She has become a GREAT cook. Of course I had to have a piece of Buttermilk pie, love it!!!

Today we have to work! Oh you don't have too...if you like coming in on Monday morning with your room sitting out in the hall!

Good Times

We had a nice visit at Dianne and Eddie's last night. They've done some remodeling and the house was looking so nice. She had even worked with her MIL and made the most fantastic valances.

Dianne fixed ham last night. I want to encourage everyone to find the Paula Deen signature Smithfield ham with the crunchy honey glaze topping. It was fantastic!!!

This morning we are busy again. I'm back to writing. Dan and Matt have gone to get some painting done at the old house. Then we should be finished.

Tonight we are off to Norris and Denitia's and that should be fun. Her parents have recently moved to Georgia and we haven't seen them in 16 years. So we will enjoy catching up with them. Then tomorrow it is off to work. YUCK!

Also, I'm giving myself a break about the house, we still are not totally moved in. There are boxes to be unloaded! I hate it!! I was going to have the Sunday School Party at our house this year, but I'm crossing that off my list. I think this year if we get a tree, that will work!

Reasons to be Thankful Part 4

1. That I am recommitted to the doctoral process. (I really have wanted to put this away for awhile now. Too many things have tugged at my mind.)
2. That we are healthy!
3. I'm thankful that I grew up with a loving family...that in the short time we were all together instilled in me the meaning of Family. (My mother has been gone 31 years and my Grandmother 25.)
4. I'm thankful that when my mother and grandmother could have trashed Linda Lou for having an affair with my Daddy and him leaving, but they didn't. Who knew that when they refused to say an unkind word about either of them that they gave me the greater gift. I've treasured being close to Linda for 30 years.
5. I'm thankful that the doctors at MD Anderson are not ready to give up on Linda and still have one more treatment that they can try if the current one fails.
6. I am thankful for my church. Since I was a small child church has been a cornerstone of my life and I'm thankful that God has always helped us find good churches.
7. I'm thankful for Pastor Lane. He has had to grow up fast. Who knew that two years ago when our then pastor split the church, that Lane could rise to the occassion. I'm thankful for the fact that he is back in seminary working on a doctorate and learning how to be a solid Bible teacher.
8. I'm thankful for Brenda and Charlie, they have been our spiritual parents and such a blessing to us.
9. I'm thankful for friends that love me even when I am unlovable.
10. I'm thankful that God has saved my family and my friends and that we will have eternity together.

Amy Grant - Saved By Love

I love this Classic from Amy Grant. Somehow it has always said it all for me!

Reasons to be Thankful Part 3

1. This week Dan has cooked breakfast every morning. This morning I woke up to the smell of bacon cooking and coffee brewing.
2. That we are almost moved out of the old house. Because our landlords are elderly, we are going beyond typical move out cleaning. We are even painting two rooms.
3. That Dan has handled all the cleaning at the old house and let me concentrate on the new house.
4. That Dan is taking all the boys today and I am going to write! My mind is so full of stuff.
5. That I have a job. I tend to get nervous right now that when the dust settles Dan won't be able to find any work, but I can't let myself go there. God is good and has not brought us this far to see us crumble.
6. I have my T6 pay now!! Whoo-hoo!!!

Have I mentioned I am NOT cooking this week. Tonight we will have olive bread (PW), salad, and spaghetti.

Reasons I'm Thankful Part 2

1. That I've got good friends. It would be very sad to not have friends.
2. That I've almost got Christmas bought. (This comes mainly from telling everyone "I love you" let's don't exchange gifts and just enjoy each other!)
3. That I'm married to Dan. God has worked hard over the past few months reminding me why I love him.
4. That I don't feel the need to cook big meals for a week this year. That I want to do simple soups, bread, and enjoy my family.
5. That perhaps this year, the focus can be on family, friends, and food. Not on presents and stuff.

I've enjoyed the slow mornings, drinking two cups of coffee and enjoying visiting with Dan. It has been way too long since we've had that luxury.

Reasons I'm Thankful Part 1

In order to get moving in a forward motion in the holiday spirit, this week will be dedicated to reasons I'm thankful.

1. God saved me!
2. That I really did marry the love of my life. (even though there have been some incredible difficult times)
3. I have my own house at age 49.
4. I have three healthy children and one daughter in law.
5. That our children are not even asking for much this year at Christmas

This week I'm unpacking boxes and writing. Cooking will be limited and savored for a better time! I'm planning a big blowout in December.

PS. Money saving Christmas idea...recycle old cards as covers for a handmade Christmas CD.

What a day

We started early this morning. We had to get Gabe to Jackson to catch the bus. Then go to Stockbridge for Dan's surgery. All went extremely well for Dan. We are very fortunate, it was caught early and had not spread. Others I work with have not been so lucky. Please pray for them over the holiday.

We stopped and picked up Matt's Christmas. It is much, but I felt very good about our choices. Also found a little something for Grandma. I wish everyone was that easy. I bought a new nightgown, on sale for $7. You know when your hubby of 24++ years says your nighties are ratty, it is time to pay up. (I didn't know he even noticed anymore)

I've unpacked some stuff but there is a lot to unpack. Since Drew, Nicole, Grandma, and Grandpa are not coming for Thanksgiving, I'm seriously (sit down) considering NOT COOKING! I've got a house to unpack, a paper to write, and papers to grade, so why should I cook!! We could go out to eat cheaper! Then on Friday we are going over to Norris and Denitia's for a long over due visit.

I still haven't spent some quality time in my whirlpool and that is a top priority.

Tomorrow is pizza and a great football game. BOOMER SOONER!

11/18/2008

Tomorrow night we will spend in our new house. There is still cleaning and more stuff to move from here. Obviously, over the last four years we were in here like sardines!

Tonight I went to the doctor and she thinks I may have an absess behind my tonsil. She put me on a high power antibiotic and is getting me a fast tract ticket to an ENT. At best she is hoping the antibiotic will make some difference. She asked if I could sleep and I said no, not since the strep throat three weeks ago. She said no wonder, she had never seen a tonsil that big. Thanks! While there I mentioned my crying weekend and asked if having given up birth control pills after 10 years could be a reason, and having my thyroid medicine doseage lowered. She said I'd be a canidate for out of control emotions.

God was good today. I met N early this morning and told her how it seemed to me. There were things she didn't know that had she known she wouldn't have gotten involved. I know that it was prayer and that diffused the situation. I need to at least debrief the paras twice a week and make sure we are all working together and not separate.

After the doctor, we headed to Target! I got a rug for the living room (not something forever, but will last out the couch!) Also, a bed skirt, a mattress cover, two throw pillows, two door rugs, and a bionicle.

Training Union

At training union tonight, I realized that tomorrow will be a difficult day for me. However, I need to be the bigger person in this. For whatever reasons God has allowed this to happen, and I must look for His purpose in all of this.

It is a struggle, the human side of me says that after the comment was made by the other educator present, that I now have no clout whatsoever. The paras won on this one, and who said there isn't power in numbers. But I can't let my mind go there. I am just so sad.

Tomorrow I am going to get up and pray hard before work. That God would help me walk in uprightness. Because truthfully ya'll, I didn't do anything wrong in this situation. I've searched my heart. I do let them get louder than some other teachers might. But literature leads itself to discussion if done correctly, or so I thought. When I model they are talking to me and giving suggestions. So they are loud. They may even be disrespectful, but they aren't to me.

Please pray hard. I'm going for the full armour of God. Two little old ladies in Dan's Training Union Class, CB and BB are going to pray at 7:00 that God will double dip me! I hope He hears and gives me all I need to be gracious and kind to those who have attacted my classroom management ability.

A Little Better

After my last big cry in the shower this morning. I'm somewhat better over the things that transpired Friday. There is no reason for anyone to try and apologize, I don't want to hear it. I will continue on and make the best out of this situation. I do not have to eat lunch with those involved, I can go to my room. I don't have to walk down the third grade hall, there are other ways to my room. That way if the parapros feel the need to go on about what a sorry teacher I am, I won't hear it. I did email the first friend I made 11 years ago when I came to Jackson, and stated how the events transpired to me. She has not responded and that is okay as well. I need to move on and I have a job to do. This is too much drama for me.

This verse came to my mind this morning, "Consider the work of God: for who can make that straight which He has made crooked? "—Eccles. 7:13. Thomas Boston wrote a book describing how can we straighten that which God has made crooked. I know that this is from God and he has a purpose and a plan. I will continue on. I will not discuss this matter with F. when she returns. And until I can function without crying, I may not be able to talk to F. for a while. Hopefully, as good a friends as we are she will understand.

I do not want to discuss this at school or anywhere else. I do not want to hear I am sorry from anyone, because it changes nothing. I especially don't want to hear that it was not an attack on me as a person, because it was.

Pray that I will get through this! But my head is spilting, I can't talk, and I want to move forward.

Thought I'd Feel Better

I really thought that I'd feel better as the day has wore on, but I don't. I guess part of it was how fast I was tried and found guilty by my friends. No one asked me what happened. The parapros won. Funny I didn't know I was even on trial.

To top it off I'm getting sicker and my chest is starting to hurt which means this is in my lungs. I've cried so much I can't seem to pack. (I don't like any of the boxes!) The living in between two houses about sums up my spirit. I'm so sad and hurt and lonely. I honestly look back over yesterday and I'm just numb. If I knew what I did, other than did not make an irreverant child show respect to a parapro who is up in their face. Forget the fact that just the day before the same parapro had not liked the way I was dealing with the child and totally disregarded what I said and went to NH, who told her to take it to V. He was shocked when he heard that I had originally said, then the para went on her way.

Oh and if you were wondering why the first parapro had to be moved it is because my students are rude and disrespectful and loud. They made her nervous. Forget that one day in class within ear shot of a child she proceeded to tell me how sorry is momma, daddy, and preacher grandpa were. Now tell me how you make a kid respect someone who has said horrible things about your family for everyone to hear.

Dan Says...

I'm emotional! You think!!! He said that the buying the house, attempting to move and being strung out over two houses is tough. I must agree. However, I'm still hurt over everything from yesterday. I've got way too much on my plate.

This morning I'm going out shopping and hopefully this afternoon I can get some stuff moved. Dan is hanging in there with the judging job. The show lasted till after midnight last night and he was back at it by 9:00 this morning. So they are having a huge show.

Pray that I won't continue to be emotional. That I won't take everything so personal. I'm stopping for a pedicure and hope that makes me feel better.

Depths of Despair

I must be hypersensitive these days.

Of course there is the little thing of trying to move into a house. My husband having some rare type of skin cancer. My husband not working and needing to look for a job. The looming thoughts of getting back to work on a dissertation. Added to an extremely difficult class to teach.

Now I can add to that the people around me thinking I am a bad teacher. I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure of knowing that people are talking about you, but it is no fun. Today when I came back in after bus riders the posse had the rope ready and I was the lynching material! I can't even explain to you what it felt like to know I had gone through two parapros! That I have no control over my classroom. And therefore the parapros could not stand it! I should of gotten the hint yesterday when the same group told me they would raise all kinds of cane if their child was in my class. I had assumed it had to do with the children in my class.

I'm sorry I did not fully understand until my near lynching that my job entails making sure that all children in my room are respectful to every adult they encounter (parapros, lunchroom staff, other teachers, etc). Or that their lack of respect for adults was a direct reflection upon me! I emailed one of my friends in charge of the parapros and mentioned perhaps she should come observe me and see what I'm doing wrong. I guess I had hoped that I'd get that warm fuzzy, it isn't you. Funny, I didn't get that. Even though she did call me back and try to make it better, she never did say it isn't you. She did say I was not responsible for his actions.

So have no fear I am a quick study. My most important job is to protect the adults my children come in contact with. Not teach the best I can in less than idea situations. Then I am to make ADD children who are not on medication sit in their seats and not move. Also, I've learned it has to be me because F doesn't have any problems. I've even learned that in previous years this certain student worked and was okay. Funny, that is not the story I heard until he was my problem. I think time has a way of diminishing how bad things really are!!!

So tonight I will continue to cry as hard as the rain is falling. I will pray for Dan that he does a great job judging this weekend, and that he isn't sick anymore. I will also pray that Matt makes it home safely and that we are able to get done everything that needs to be done. I will thank God that Gabe's bad day at school was only because someone bumped his arm and he spilled milk down his shirt. That today when I tutored Devon-she laughed. (Devon laughed a lot yesterday...apparently the word heifer is funny.) And that my best friend (who is also the best teacher:)) is having fun in New York City. I will praise God that JG (who LOVES drama) agreed to look over the play and offer suggestions, since I'm not artsy. That Monkey (who is overworked and underappreciated) is making my signs. I will be thankful that for the next few weeks Dan can help with Gabe. And somewhere in those prayers I will ask God to make me less sensitive and help me to do a better job teaching in His eyes.

670 Bear Creek Marina Road

This is were you will soon find the H family. As of yesterday we are home owners! Today we are trying to garage sale. Matt is suppose to come home tonight and help Dan load the truck. I still don't know about the decorating. I think I'm using what we've got and then adding and deleting peaces as we go.

Dan went to see the surgeon yesterday. The surgery has been moved up. Dan has Sebaceous gland carcinoma. This is an extremely rare type of skin cancer. Prognosis looks good. So we will see, however, he did not show them another one that is under his arm. Surgery was rescheduled for Nov. 21.

We should be moving this week!

The Latest

We still have not closed. This is the reason as I know it right now. We were getting the USDA Rural Development Loan. This loan is available for property in Butts and Jasper County. Which is great because those are the two counties we want to live in. Anyway, seems that the loan has this obscure clause about swimming pools. Well the house has a swimming pool; however, it is defunct and might even need to be filled in.

It seems that the H family was able to be approved at every step, when suddenly a week ago today someone said, "Oh, we have a no swimming pool policy. No big deal we just need a waiver. If this had come in next month the rules are being changed and the swimming pool doesn't matter." Now since this comment was made the loan and appraisal were sent to the USDA regional office. At which point it seems to be bogged down in bureaucracy! So we wait. I am assured every day that there is no problem, they just need the waiver.

I am not a patient type person, so this is all hard. Yet, I will trust in God! Dan goes to a consult with the surgeon tomorrow. I will not be going because you can't get off work around this place unless you are officially dead!

Oh Me...

This is how things are today...

1. We are still waiting to close on the house. We reset the closing date for tomorrow, but we are still missing some paper from the regional office of the USDA. WE have been approved for the loan and all the paperwork is done, but we NEED the waiver. Pray that we would get this waiver early in the morning.

2. Dan had started packing the house. Now we are in limbo with so many things packed.

3. In the midst of this I'm planning a garage sale. This was suppose to be wonderful, but now with the limbo about the move, everything is a mess.

4. There is still a dissertation that needs me to be settled and writing.

5. There is still a job that Dan needs to find. He is studying for his CDL in hopes of landing a job with the propane company. Pray that Dan will get a job before December.

6. Then there is work...which is killing me these days.

Election Eve

I wish I had a scanner and could show you a picture of my grandmother. I think it would help you comprehend this better.

The first election I voted in was 1980. I drove my grandmother down to the polling place at my old high school. Before we went in my grandmother looked at me and said, "Just fill in the circle under the rooster." Back then the rooster was the column that signified the Democratic party. My grandmother was a yellow dog democrat. She would have voted for a yellow dog if it ran on the Democratic ticket. The reason was she had voted for Hoover and lived through the depression. She prayed everyday that God would see her family through and in return promised that she would never vote for another Republican as long as she lived. She never voted for another Republican, but I wonder what she would do today?

My grandmother died 3 months before I had Drew (24 years ago). I want to think that she would feel the same way I do. I did not leave the democratic party--they left me. You see those strong Oklahoma Judeo-Christian values she instilled in me have transcend politics. While I would never label myself as ultra-conservative, I am conservative to the depths of my soul. I look at the elections tomorrow and know that whatever happens God knew before hand and has allowed it to be. So I have no fear. Oh, I do think if one gets in, instead of the other...we may be in for a tough time in America.

I know many of my friends would not think me progressive enough, and may even look down on me. But that isn't that the beauty of voting...I can vote my conscience, not yours!

The saddest statement on this election was made by a fifth grader last week. They were lingering around in my room, and since I never lock up my purse I was shooing them out. I said for them to come on cause there was no money in the room. It was then that one of my little girls looked at me and with all seriousness said, "Don't worry Mrs. H, after Obama is president next week, he is going to share the wealth and then you will have money." I wanted to cry! I wanted to scream, I don't want someone else's money, I only want what I WORK for. Perhaps it comes from being put through college by a wealthy oil man. It was his money, I had no rights to it, he choose to help me get through school and in return I made good grades. I have the same ability to work and make money as he did. Again it is those crazy Oklahoma values that still determine who I am today!!

Fall Festival

Today was our schools fall festival. Now I'm not big on this stuff right now. There are lots of things running around in my mind. However, you do get to spend the day with friends. (Have I ever mentioned I love the I'm A Noun shirt?

And then if your lucky you win an auction! This was great because it was Reese's homeroom basket. So it was full of Reese stuff and recipes to cook with, and that's funny because my maiden name was Cook. Just some insight! Also, the basket has two free foot messages in it! How cool is that!!!
Now since I keep my hair pulled back in my glasses most of the time. I think I need to decide am I letting it grow or chopping it off on Tuesday. It looks rather flat here!