I'm emotional! You think!!! He said that the buying the house, attempting to move and being strung out over two houses is tough. I must agree. However, I'm still hurt over everything from yesterday. I've got way too much on my plate.
This morning I'm going out shopping and hopefully this afternoon I can get some stuff moved. Dan is hanging in there with the judging job. The show lasted till after midnight last night and he was back at it by 9:00 this morning. So they are having a huge show.
Pray that I won't continue to be emotional. That I won't take everything so personal. I'm stopping for a pedicure and hope that makes me feel better.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Depths of Despair
I must be hypersensitive these days.
Of course there is the little thing of trying to move into a house. My husband having some rare type of skin cancer. My husband not working and needing to look for a job. The looming thoughts of getting back to work on a dissertation. Added to an extremely difficult class to teach.
Now I can add to that the people around me thinking I am a bad teacher. I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure of knowing that people are talking about you, but it is no fun. Today when I came back in after bus riders the posse had the rope ready and I was the lynching material! I can't even explain to you what it felt like to know I had gone through two parapros! That I have no control over my classroom. And therefore the parapros could not stand it! I should of gotten the hint yesterday when the same group told me they would raise all kinds of cane if their child was in my class. I had assumed it had to do with the children in my class.
I'm sorry I did not fully understand until my near lynching that my job entails making sure that all children in my room are respectful to every adult they encounter (parapros, lunchroom staff, other teachers, etc). Or that their lack of respect for adults was a direct reflection upon me! I emailed one of my friends in charge of the parapros and mentioned perhaps she should come observe me and see what I'm doing wrong. I guess I had hoped that I'd get that warm fuzzy, it isn't you. Funny, I didn't get that. Even though she did call me back and try to make it better, she never did say it isn't you. She did say I was not responsible for his actions.
So have no fear I am a quick study. My most important job is to protect the adults my children come in contact with. Not teach the best I can in less than idea situations. Then I am to make ADD children who are not on medication sit in their seats and not move. Also, I've learned it has to be me because F doesn't have any problems. I've even learned that in previous years this certain student worked and was okay. Funny, that is not the story I heard until he was my problem. I think time has a way of diminishing how bad things really are!!!
So tonight I will continue to cry as hard as the rain is falling. I will pray for Dan that he does a great job judging this weekend, and that he isn't sick anymore. I will also pray that Matt makes it home safely and that we are able to get done everything that needs to be done. I will thank God that Gabe's bad day at school was only because someone bumped his arm and he spilled milk down his shirt. That today when I tutored Devon-she laughed. (Devon laughed a lot yesterday...apparently the word heifer is funny.) And that my best friend (who is also the best teacher:)) is having fun in New York City. I will praise God that JG (who LOVES drama) agreed to look over the play and offer suggestions, since I'm not artsy. That Monkey (who is overworked and underappreciated) is making my signs. I will be thankful that for the next few weeks Dan can help with Gabe. And somewhere in those prayers I will ask God to make me less sensitive and help me to do a better job teaching in His eyes.
Of course there is the little thing of trying to move into a house. My husband having some rare type of skin cancer. My husband not working and needing to look for a job. The looming thoughts of getting back to work on a dissertation. Added to an extremely difficult class to teach.
Now I can add to that the people around me thinking I am a bad teacher. I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure of knowing that people are talking about you, but it is no fun. Today when I came back in after bus riders the posse had the rope ready and I was the lynching material! I can't even explain to you what it felt like to know I had gone through two parapros! That I have no control over my classroom. And therefore the parapros could not stand it! I should of gotten the hint yesterday when the same group told me they would raise all kinds of cane if their child was in my class. I had assumed it had to do with the children in my class.
I'm sorry I did not fully understand until my near lynching that my job entails making sure that all children in my room are respectful to every adult they encounter (parapros, lunchroom staff, other teachers, etc). Or that their lack of respect for adults was a direct reflection upon me! I emailed one of my friends in charge of the parapros and mentioned perhaps she should come observe me and see what I'm doing wrong. I guess I had hoped that I'd get that warm fuzzy, it isn't you. Funny, I didn't get that. Even though she did call me back and try to make it better, she never did say it isn't you. She did say I was not responsible for his actions.
So have no fear I am a quick study. My most important job is to protect the adults my children come in contact with. Not teach the best I can in less than idea situations. Then I am to make ADD children who are not on medication sit in their seats and not move. Also, I've learned it has to be me because F doesn't have any problems. I've even learned that in previous years this certain student worked and was okay. Funny, that is not the story I heard until he was my problem. I think time has a way of diminishing how bad things really are!!!
So tonight I will continue to cry as hard as the rain is falling. I will pray for Dan that he does a great job judging this weekend, and that he isn't sick anymore. I will also pray that Matt makes it home safely and that we are able to get done everything that needs to be done. I will thank God that Gabe's bad day at school was only because someone bumped his arm and he spilled milk down his shirt. That today when I tutored Devon-she laughed. (Devon laughed a lot yesterday...apparently the word heifer is funny.) And that my best friend (who is also the best teacher:)) is having fun in New York City. I will praise God that JG (who LOVES drama) agreed to look over the play and offer suggestions, since I'm not artsy. That Monkey (who is overworked and underappreciated) is making my signs. I will be thankful that for the next few weeks Dan can help with Gabe. And somewhere in those prayers I will ask God to make me less sensitive and help me to do a better job teaching in His eyes.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
670 Bear Creek Marina Road
This is were you will soon find the H family. As of yesterday we are home owners! Today we are trying to garage sale. Matt is suppose to come home tonight and help Dan load the truck. I still don't know about the decorating. I think I'm using what we've got and then adding and deleting peaces as we go.
Dan went to see the surgeon yesterday. The surgery has been moved up. Dan has Sebaceous gland carcinoma. This is an extremely rare type of skin cancer. Prognosis looks good. So we will see, however, he did not show them another one that is under his arm. Surgery was rescheduled for Nov. 21.
We should be moving this week!
Dan went to see the surgeon yesterday. The surgery has been moved up. Dan has Sebaceous gland carcinoma. This is an extremely rare type of skin cancer. Prognosis looks good. So we will see, however, he did not show them another one that is under his arm. Surgery was rescheduled for Nov. 21.
We should be moving this week!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
The Latest
We still have not closed. This is the reason as I know it right now. We were getting the USDA Rural Development Loan. This loan is available for property in Butts and Jasper County. Which is great because those are the two counties we want to live in. Anyway, seems that the loan has this obscure clause about swimming pools. Well the house has a swimming pool; however, it is defunct and might even need to be filled in.
It seems that the H family was able to be approved at every step, when suddenly a week ago today someone said, "Oh, we have a no swimming pool policy. No big deal we just need a waiver. If this had come in next month the rules are being changed and the swimming pool doesn't matter." Now since this comment was made the loan and appraisal were sent to the USDA regional office. At which point it seems to be bogged down in bureaucracy! So we wait. I am assured every day that there is no problem, they just need the waiver.
I am not a patient type person, so this is all hard. Yet, I will trust in God! Dan goes to a consult with the surgeon tomorrow. I will not be going because you can't get off work around this place unless you are officially dead!
It seems that the H family was able to be approved at every step, when suddenly a week ago today someone said, "Oh, we have a no swimming pool policy. No big deal we just need a waiver. If this had come in next month the rules are being changed and the swimming pool doesn't matter." Now since this comment was made the loan and appraisal were sent to the USDA regional office. At which point it seems to be bogged down in bureaucracy! So we wait. I am assured every day that there is no problem, they just need the waiver.
I am not a patient type person, so this is all hard. Yet, I will trust in God! Dan goes to a consult with the surgeon tomorrow. I will not be going because you can't get off work around this place unless you are officially dead!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Oh Me...
This is how things are today...
1. We are still waiting to close on the house. We reset the closing date for tomorrow, but we are still missing some paper from the regional office of the USDA. WE have been approved for the loan and all the paperwork is done, but we NEED the waiver. Pray that we would get this waiver early in the morning.
2. Dan had started packing the house. Now we are in limbo with so many things packed.
3. In the midst of this I'm planning a garage sale. This was suppose to be wonderful, but now with the limbo about the move, everything is a mess.
4. There is still a dissertation that needs me to be settled and writing.
5. There is still a job that Dan needs to find. He is studying for his CDL in hopes of landing a job with the propane company. Pray that Dan will get a job before December.
6. Then there is work...which is killing me these days.
1. We are still waiting to close on the house. We reset the closing date for tomorrow, but we are still missing some paper from the regional office of the USDA. WE have been approved for the loan and all the paperwork is done, but we NEED the waiver. Pray that we would get this waiver early in the morning.
2. Dan had started packing the house. Now we are in limbo with so many things packed.
3. In the midst of this I'm planning a garage sale. This was suppose to be wonderful, but now with the limbo about the move, everything is a mess.
4. There is still a dissertation that needs me to be settled and writing.
5. There is still a job that Dan needs to find. He is studying for his CDL in hopes of landing a job with the propane company. Pray that Dan will get a job before December.
6. Then there is work...which is killing me these days.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Election Eve
I wish I had a scanner and could show you a picture of my grandmother. I think it would help you comprehend this better.
The first election I voted in was 1980. I drove my grandmother down to the polling place at my old high school. Before we went in my grandmother looked at me and said, "Just fill in the circle under the rooster." Back then the rooster was the column that signified the Democratic party. My grandmother was a yellow dog democrat. She would have voted for a yellow dog if it ran on the Democratic ticket. The reason was she had voted for Hoover and lived through the depression. She prayed everyday that God would see her family through and in return promised that she would never vote for another Republican as long as she lived. She never voted for another Republican, but I wonder what she would do today?
My grandmother died 3 months before I had Drew (24 years ago). I want to think that she would feel the same way I do. I did not leave the democratic party--they left me. You see those strong Oklahoma Judeo-Christian values she instilled in me have transcend politics. While I would never label myself as ultra-conservative, I am conservative to the depths of my soul. I look at the elections tomorrow and know that whatever happens God knew before hand and has allowed it to be. So I have no fear. Oh, I do think if one gets in, instead of the other...we may be in for a tough time in America.
I know many of my friends would not think me progressive enough, and may even look down on me. But that isn't that the beauty of voting...I can vote my conscience, not yours!
The saddest statement on this election was made by a fifth grader last week. They were lingering around in my room, and since I never lock up my purse I was shooing them out. I said for them to come on cause there was no money in the room. It was then that one of my little girls looked at me and with all seriousness said, "Don't worry Mrs. H, after Obama is president next week, he is going to share the wealth and then you will have money." I wanted to cry! I wanted to scream, I don't want someone else's money, I only want what I WORK for. Perhaps it comes from being put through college by a wealthy oil man. It was his money, I had no rights to it, he choose to help me get through school and in return I made good grades. I have the same ability to work and make money as he did. Again it is those crazy Oklahoma values that still determine who I am today!!
The first election I voted in was 1980. I drove my grandmother down to the polling place at my old high school. Before we went in my grandmother looked at me and said, "Just fill in the circle under the rooster." Back then the rooster was the column that signified the Democratic party. My grandmother was a yellow dog democrat. She would have voted for a yellow dog if it ran on the Democratic ticket. The reason was she had voted for Hoover and lived through the depression. She prayed everyday that God would see her family through and in return promised that she would never vote for another Republican as long as she lived. She never voted for another Republican, but I wonder what she would do today?
My grandmother died 3 months before I had Drew (24 years ago). I want to think that she would feel the same way I do. I did not leave the democratic party--they left me. You see those strong Oklahoma Judeo-Christian values she instilled in me have transcend politics. While I would never label myself as ultra-conservative, I am conservative to the depths of my soul. I look at the elections tomorrow and know that whatever happens God knew before hand and has allowed it to be. So I have no fear. Oh, I do think if one gets in, instead of the other...we may be in for a tough time in America.
I know many of my friends would not think me progressive enough, and may even look down on me. But that isn't that the beauty of voting...I can vote my conscience, not yours!
The saddest statement on this election was made by a fifth grader last week. They were lingering around in my room, and since I never lock up my purse I was shooing them out. I said for them to come on cause there was no money in the room. It was then that one of my little girls looked at me and with all seriousness said, "Don't worry Mrs. H, after Obama is president next week, he is going to share the wealth and then you will have money." I wanted to cry! I wanted to scream, I don't want someone else's money, I only want what I WORK for. Perhaps it comes from being put through college by a wealthy oil man. It was his money, I had no rights to it, he choose to help me get through school and in return I made good grades. I have the same ability to work and make money as he did. Again it is those crazy Oklahoma values that still determine who I am today!!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Fall Festival
Today was our schools fall festival. Now I'm not big on this stuff right now. There are lots of things running around in my mind. However, you do get to spend the day with friends. (Have I ever mentioned I love the I'm A Noun shirt?
And then if your lucky you win an auction! This was great because it was Reese's homeroom basket. So it was full of Reese stuff and recipes to cook with, and that's funny because my maiden name was Cook. Just some insight! Also, the basket has two free foot messages in it! How cool is that!!!
Now since I keep my hair pulled back in my glasses most of the time. I think I need to decide am I letting it grow or chopping it off on Tuesday. It looks rather flat here!
And then if your lucky you win an auction! This was great because it was Reese's homeroom basket. So it was full of Reese stuff and recipes to cook with, and that's funny because my maiden name was Cook. Just some insight! Also, the basket has two free foot messages in it! How cool is that!!!Now since I keep my hair pulled back in my glasses most of the time. I think I need to decide am I letting it grow or chopping it off on Tuesday. It looks rather flat here!
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