On Friday morning going to work, I almost cried. Matt and Nick are so eat up with the horse stuff. What we do is not Rodeo, it is Cutting Horse Competition, but still the words to Garth Brooks song "Rodeo" kept playing in my mind:
It's dust and mud
It's the roar of a Sunday crowd
It's the white in his knuckles
The gold in the buckle
He'll win the next go 'round
It's boots and chaps
It's cowboy hats
It's spurs and latigo
It's the ropes and the reins
And the joy and the pain
And they call the thing rodeo
You see I know Matt loves this stuff, but after living it for 25 years I'm not sure it is the best road in life to take. We just disbanded our own horse training business in October after 18 years of being on our own. Dan still hasn't found other work. We are just now buying a house at 50 and settling into a routine.
Our oldest son wanted as far away from the horse business as he could get. We sent him to Berry College, trying to give him every opportunity for vet school, only he didn't get into Vet school. He found a Christian girl, got married, and now is the farm manager over brood mare operations at Hygaard Medical Institute in Lexington, KY. So he's essentially back in the horse business! Although he is talking of reapplying for vet school.
Matt is at an agricultural college. He swears he wants to get a job and do horses on the side. He promises he won't make the same mistakes. And then here pulls up that trailer with starry eyed boys, who are footloose and fancy free, livin' a dream. That's when the flashback occurred.
It wasn't that long ago that we were young and carefree. Now I feel old and tired! When I got to work I said, "You know he could of brought home a hooker and I'd feel better!" Then my best friends looked at me and said, "What?" "You've had the most interesting life, you've met people and done things, all we've done is stay right here." Funny, I've considered what they have as the most desirable life!
Dan says to let Matt do this until he gets it out of his system. What if he never does? All day yesterday I expected Dan to call and say he was off to Mississippi with the boys! However, it is time to let Matt make his own mistakes and I really didn't want him to bring home a hooker!
1 comment:
It's interesting how we can always look at someone else's life and choices and think they've have the 'better' or 'more interesting' life. I read your post and I can feel your worry for your sons and the choices they are making, but all the while I'm thinking, "Wow! Lennye has had this totally fascinating life. How cool that her son competes in Cutting Horse contests!"
It's only natural for you to worry about your boys, especially as you and Dan are changing your own lives in this moment. But it's also natural for them to take their chances and make their mistakes. I don't know you or your sons, of course, but just judging from their faces in those beautiful photos you posted before, they look like smart, level-headed guys, they look very together. (Not at all like the types who would bring hookers home to mom!) They may make mistakes, but you've given them the tools and the example to help them work through whatever rough spots come. And think of the stories they'll have to tell their kids!
--Stacie
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