Hello 50!

I've wondered for many years what today would be like. What would I feel? Emotion would be a good word.

I am at an age my mother never lived to see. To me that is very humbling. Why does God choose to bless some people with life and take others at a young age? So at 50, I have to hope that I've lived a life that would honor her memory. I hope I've achieved things that would have made her proud. I'm thankful that in the last 32 years I've never had a day that the memory of her did not motivate me to be more.

At 50, we've raised 2 boys and have one more to go. I'm glad they are strong men. My heart breaks over how little time Drew wants to spend with us, but today I remembered how boys just tend to do that. I also marvel at Matt, who is still struggling to decide what he wants to be when he grows up. Then there is Gabe, who at 13 is 6 feet tall and awkward. Life will be his for the taking! So three boys is a lot to show for 50 years.

At 50, I'm still not finished with my doctorate. That was something I thought would be done. I lack focus and the mental stamina to handle 125 kids a day. Will I finish I don't know, but I'm not ready to give up yet.

At 50, I've had 25+ years with the man of my dreams. (In my dreams he had more money, but that's beside the point). He loves me for who I am, not how I look ant that says a lot these days.

At 50, I've had the career I wanted. (I should be retiring now, but refer back to 3 boys). I always wanted to teach. I still want to know why some kids can't learn and what I'm going to do about it.

At 50, I've been blessed with wonderful friends all over the United States. I'm the lucky one. They have always encouraged, helped, and believed in me. Even when I could believe anymore they were there.

At 50, I've been a Christian for 42 years. During that time I've broke the very heart of God with some of my actions, but I've found that his forgiveness is deeper than the ocean. I've also found that he never left me, even when I walked down dark paths he was there. That is something that is unfathomable.

At 50, I have very little patience for pretense. It is what it is. The good, the bad, and the ugly all have a place in life and make us stronger. Embrass them for the road is often rough.

In my next 50 years, I'm going to embrace JOY. I don't know how yet, but I'm going to find it in the little things of life. A nice breakfast with my husband. A silly prank he plays after buying me a new cell phone. In cooking for friends and family. I'm not going to worry so much about the "what should have beens", but embrace the what "ares"! I'm going to sing Bonnie Raitt at the top of my lungs and one day I'm going to get out of the car and dance on the side of the road to Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" just because!

So 50 Hello...I think I'm ready!

On the Eve of Turning 50

On this Eve of turning 50 I wanted to print something I read awhile back. I love it!

45 Life Lessons and 5 to grow on
by Regina Brett columnist for The Plain Dealer

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

I'm Outta Here

I'm on my way to spend an evening in music heaven. Yes I'm singing every song! (Cause I know them all!) I promise not to give anybody "Something to Talk About."

More later

WWWAAAAAAAA!

I'm whining! I'm not a happy camper. For months I've planned on me and the hubby taking a trip to see Bonnie Raitt in concert. Only to find out that no one will switch days off with him, and that if he takes the day off the boss is going to write him up. WHATTTTTTT. Do these people not know that I'm fixing to be 50 and that is to me a High Holy Day?

I've never made a big deal out of my birthday...ever!!! I've never minded that in 25 years the man has been broke EVERY October. But this is unbelievable.

Freda is thinking of going, but we've got to get her off work on a Friday with me. Then there's this thing about staying in a motel room...(that's another story). What if Freda can't over come her fear of motels....

Youngest Son

The youngest son needs to have this book read by Friday.

and wouldn't you know it for some reason he is rebeling against this! I love this book. I wish I could read it with my 5th graders. So why is he being so obstinate!!!???

Time Flies

Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more. - Brother David steindl-Rast

Time has flown since my last post. I guess I've been busy living! School started in August and I've got a class that needs lots of attention. The paperwork involved when you have a majority of your class that struggles makes it tough. Next week I will start tutoring after school in hopes of helping.

Then in September Matt turned 20. (I would post a picture of Matt, but it won't let me!). I can't even remember what else happened in September, but it sure came and went fast.

Now we are in October. Already, I've had the flu. Ended up running a fever of over 100 for 4 days (I don't do fever). During the same week I had to get out 125 report cards and managed to do 21 out of 24 parent conferences. It was a busy week. On Saturday Nanci's oldest son got married. They had a sweet wedding at Indian Springs. Freda and I were there. Freda's son was in the wedding party. Tomorrow we are going over to Nanci's house to have lunch and watch a movie. And no one is talking about school! (I doubt that!)

This coming week we go back to school on Wednesday, then on Friday Dan and I are going to see Bonnie Raitt in concert. I can't wait!!!!!

Oh yeah, and I've written on the dissertation. Perhaps soon I can get a go ahead.