I don't like it when I become emotionally distraught at work. You know how you read everyone's blog and school is wonderful, the birds are singing, students are engaged in learning and all is well with the world.
My afternoon did not turn out like that today! Not even close!! We are experimenting with hour long rotations for CRCT practice in the afternoons. Well it seems that we managed that for 3 weeks, then we had a winter break, then there were all kinds of interruptions and we got off track. So we went out to play and then came back in. The kids wanted to read for 15 minutes again no problem. That was until another teacher sent me her disruptive student, but we continue on.
Then we get out the CRCT practice book. They get started. Great I can get a note off to Kenny's mom. See hospice is going to try and move her home by Monday. They will be there to control the pain. I had sent home a letter about parent conferences next week and I wanted her to know that we could just communicate by letter for awhile. I didn't want the family worried about parent conferences. It was that brief moment that things went south fast!
In waltz on of the Gifted students (I use the term loosely), who hadn't done her homework the night before and demanded a book. I think it was the tone of her voice that sent me over the edge. Or perhaps her teacher mom outside the door. Or course it was at that percise moment that the visiting problem child decided to disrupt any learning and get 4 of my students to join her. I've still got the letter to write, to deal with the disrespectful Gifted child, and her mother. I was more than a little upset with everyone involved. Oh yeah and today I tutor a 4th grader.
So needless to say my blood pressure was skyrocketing today! Finally, I decided to call the LSS who is also a friend. (I'd already fussed and carried on at F. who asked if I needed a double dose of Lexipro.) Anyway, LSS tells me that Gifted child is also dealing with a sick parent, who is basically terminal only it is a heart condition. Now add guilt to my roller coaster of emotion.
However, as you may know from my past experience with a parent dying when I was young, I don't take many excuses. We all have jobs to do...no matter our age. When my mother was sick, I was expected to go to school and do my best, work an afterschool job, and help out with her care. Kenny is doing his best in the absolute worse of circumstances (he sleeps on the floor by mom's bed in case she stops breathing he can get help, he is 11). Gifted child makes excuses for why she isn't doing her work (she had cheernastics and it was more important. I am sure mom is too exhausted to fight with her at this point).
So from all this I learned a lesson. I need to pray more and praise more. I am going to start writing letters to my students and letting them know how much I appreciate them. Finding at least one or two good things each day that they do outstanding and praising them. Now I must go and pray for Godly eyes to see them as He does! Let's hope by Monday afternoon, I'm having to polish their little halos!
8 comments:
You are doing the best you can and that's so much. I remember what it's like to deal with death in school. It's so hard to balance the silly things you also have to deal with.
You put me back into the essence of teaching.
Hang in there. You are important.
Bonnie
:) If you get a chance, let me know if you have an address or email address for KT & his mom - I'd like to write them. Hang in there - you're doing the right thing!!!
Bless your heart, we all know just how you feel! One thing I used to do on the way to work in the morning was to try and pray for each of my kiddos. Some how that extra strength always got me through. Let us know how it goes!
I think this time of year is really hard on students and teachers. You would probably be surprised to know what put me over the edge this week...no air conditioning :-) Have a wonderful weekend!
I heard about gifted girl's dad too and I feel badly for her---BUT she has acted like this before he was ever this sick. As long as I have taught her she wants to talk and play for 45 minutes after she throws together some ungodly Art just to call herself finished...I never knew she did the same exact thing with her "academic" subjects as well. I figured it was just my room. Hence why she's not in Art club. I actually worried about having those other teacher's kids in Art club and not this particular one---but then thought that it was not a precedence I was going to set---because next year there will also be some admin/teacher children that won't be invited to join Art club either. I'm surprised Mom didn't ask me why but I figured she's seen her Art and how it's definitely NOT club material in the least.
You're doing great----do what you can do, be as nice as you can be in any given situation and try not to worry about the ones you can't make care about things they should care about.
Wow! Good for you. I'm amazed by your strength.
You are doing great. I bet your students will appreiciate those letters you want to write. Hang in there, it is worth it.
I continue to be amazed by you Lennye! I'm sure you are a breath of fresh air to these children.
Post a Comment