Well today should have been an easy day at work, I was in an IEP meeting for 2+ hours, but it wasn't. I sat in a meeting with a parent I've never met (she hasn't made one conference). I don't know who I hurt the most for the mom or the child.
The mom must of weighted close to 450+ pounds. Staying awake in the IEP meeting was extremely hard for her. Half way through the meeting we stopped and the Special Ed. teacher got everyone a Coke, in hopes of waking her up enough to finish the meeting.
I've sat through many IEP meetings, but this one made me want to cry. Over and over I heard how he was within the low normal intelligence range and had the capacity to learn. But this boy struggles, he has taken the educational stance that it is better to be BAD than to let people know how much you struggle. I tried to bring out the positives...for a big boy he is faster than any boy in fifth grade, he sings like an angel, and he has a winsome personality (inspite of his behavior). And I repeatedly saw him glance at mom for some recognition of approval. There wasn't one. In a way I felt that he was the parent in charge of this situation.
The Special Ed teacher and I tried to bring out how this was an opportunity for him to get the extra help he needs, how he needed to take full advantage of it, and put away the foolish behaviors. Somehow I mentioned how he kicks off his shoes when we go outside and his mom says, "That's because he can't tie his shoes." How do you get to be 12+ and no one knew you couldn't tie your shoes! My heart broke. She said he just didn't learn as a kid. He said that when he was in YDC the man tried to teach him and he almost had it.
Will anyone else see the good in my BAD boy? I don't know, but I reassured him that everything was in place for him to be successful throughout his academic career and it was now his choice. Will he learn to read? Will he stay out of juvie? Will he make it? I don't know, but at least he had one year when someone tried to help make things work to his advantage.
3 comments:
He's also a great artist when he puts his mind to it...he could get an awesome job painting designs on cars and probably make better money than you and me. :) The one in your class that NEVER does anything at all but stares...he is also a VERY talented artists when he feels like putting something on paper and his designs remind me a lot of awesome tattoos...also a job to be very successful at if he ends up in the right place...the sad thing is that we aren't able to set the kids up for success...we set them up for failure and they don't get to focus on the things they excel at, they are constantly reminded DAILY of the things they lack, and are always pointing out the areas where they SUCK royally. Because of my math deficiencies I was told to start out in Vocational courses in high school...I did, then moved up to college prep, then moved up to Honors for English/writing two subjects where I always excelled. So thankfully though I was/am semi-special ed in math, I was still able to focus on the Art/English classes that would actually matter to me one day. I feel sad for these kids.
oops..typo! meant "artist" not "artists" should have proofread! LOL!
He's lucky you're advocated for him!
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