Yesterday at 6:20 before I left school I received an email that ended telling me I was sharp, condensending and mean hearted. So as I have pondered these comments let me just get a few things off my chest. Perhaps if I write them out I will not feel led to come off on someone Monday morning.
1. I am taking a class that makes me want to hurt people. I am not a mathmatician by any stretch of the imagination so statistics has been difficult.
2. My husband received a job offer the end of December for a job in Hilton Head. I have had to deal with the thoughts of uprooting my family (again). It has been extremely stressful for me to think of leaving a place I feel comfortable and secure. (DAN TOLD THE MAN NO)
3. Then I have gone through a month in which Satan has pulled out all the plugs on making my life financially difficult. (While I'm trying to take statistics)
4. One of Matt's good friend's brother received 2nd and 3rd degree burns over his hands and face.
5. A horse trainer we have known for years was kicked in the head by a horse and is currently in a coma. (4 and 5 occured on the same day)
6. I am having one of the worse teaching years of my life. Documentation is hard when you have 15 kids that you need to document, it is nearly overwhelming. Then throw into the mix that their reading average is about 3.0 (this has come up since Sept).
7. If the above wasn't enough, on the 24th of January, I first noticed a strange spot on my left breast. If you know my history, you know how that made me feel. I went to the doctor Thursday night and they said we would treat it as mastitis. In 10 days we will make the decision if that was it or I need more test. While playing armchair doctor, I've read that this could be inflammatory breast cancer, that is usually always terminal (because women wait too long). I had just had a mammogram on the 11th, but this type of cancer would not show up on a mammogram. (READERS CHECK YOUR BREAST MONTHLY) Anyway, now we wait and every twing of pain is sending me over the emotional edge.
8. Oh, let's not forget that my second job - horse show secretary - is heating up.
So have I been condescending and sharp probably. Mean spirited that is not a word that usually describes me. I guess I feel bad because all this stems from me giving my kids a Rifka party (where they eat bananas, chocolate, and ice cream---next year we are cooking bread during the book too). This was in the lesson plans - spelled out. God tried to protect me and tell me to go ahead and buy it for the other team...but remember point 3. So my failure to listen to God has prompted someone to let me have it.
Hopefully, God has reminded me that when he tells me stuff, I need to listen hard and be obedient. He's only trying to save me from myself!
3 comments:
WOW! You know what, that was COMPLETELY NOT your responsibility to buy that stuff for the other team...if it was in the lesson plans--the person should have read the lesson plans and then figured out if they were going to do the same thing. We are adults, yet half the people we work with act worse than some of the worst children that we teach. I don't care where you work either--once you are there long enough, you are going to see these sides of people come out---I know it's not just a problem for us. If there are people involved, there will eventually be problems involved.
I agree that no matter where you work it will be this way. But, I should have just bought the stuff and not had to deal all day with it. It was my fault, I need to be more considerate of others. I need to consider others love language, I do not need constant word affirmation that I am worthy, I don't need gifts...perhaps we should do a study on the five love languages...this may appear in future blogs.
Okay couldn't wait clicked over on http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html#acts Apparently, I feel loved when people help out and try to be of assisstance. For instance, you helping me in the morning. I don't need you to buy me anything or say anything. You've done it all by giving your time.
HEAVENS. That is not okay. At all. Yes, it would've saved the drama if you had done for the other team, but I also can relate SOOO much to that particular part of your situation, and at some point, you have to draw a line. I personally don't think any of those adjectives apply to you. Yes, we all have "sharp" moments, but I don't think it defines very many people at all, all the time. (Certainly not anyone I choose to associate with regularly - for a reason!) Obviously, you're going to have to let this go, but I don't think you should feel badly. I'm also terribly sorry to learn about the other list of things going on. My prayer will be that some of them will be alleviated soon. *hugs*
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