Thoughts

      So many thoughts flood my mind this morning. Thoughts of narratives, exegesis of scripture, loss, and pain. Now, how do all of these connect together? 

     I have no clue. 

     Here is what I know: 

          -People do not comment on writing that exegetes a scripture. Even though this is something dear to my heart and lacking in the church today.

          -People do want to hear your story - narratives. I Google-searched "why people want to hear your story," and there are over 2 million articles on the subject. 

          -I am in a season of life consumed with suffering (that at this point seems trivial in light of God's big plan). People don't want to hear about suffering - it can be depressing. Yet, how are others going to know that God specially meets us in the midst of our suffering?

     So, all these thoughts are rambling through my brain when Matt calls. A colleague of his committed suicide. A prominent figure in Atlanta, a very moral person. Her company must have shared in detail about her taking her own life. It is sad stuff.

     I have known several people who have committed suicide, and my heart is always sad that they just had no hope that things would get better. Thankfully, to the Christian, God's Word gives us the foundation of our hope - Jesus Christ.

     Perhaps Elizabeth Elliot says it best:

          "There have been some hard times in my life, of course, as there have been in yours, and I cannot say to you, that I know exactly what you are going through. But I can say I know the One who does. And I've come to see that through the deepest sufferings that God has shown me the deepest lessons. And if we'll trust Him for it, we can come through with unshakeable assurance that He is in charge. He has a loving purpose. And He can transform something terrible into something wonderful. Suffering is never for nothing."

     So, dear friend, you may think I share too much, you may get tired of scripture references that point you to God, but how are you going to know where to go "when your Jordan gets deep" unless someone tells you?

Let the little children come

     We are the grandparents of two of the most handsome little boys on planet earth. One happens to be autistic and non-verbal. He has the best parents he could possibly have, who consistently put his needs first. It is not always easy, but they are shining examples.

    However, one thing that fell by the wayside was church attendance. You see, it is hard to leave a child who can't talk in the care of people you don't know. Our grandson is now four. He goes to a wonderful special ed pre-school and has had excellent OT and Speech Therapists, but still doesn't talk.

   This past Sunday, his dad decided they would come to church. We attend a small church, and there isn’t really a nursery for four-year-olds. I was ready to sit at the back and try to keep him with us during the service.

    In stepped my friend, Paula, who took him. Our son got up and checked on him a couple of times, and all was well. However, it was after church when Paula told us that Boomer came over to her and put his little hands on her face. He then put his check next to hers and said, Happy - Happy."

   My dear friend, this was truly a miracle from God for our little boy. I've spent the last 24 hours trying to comprehend what happened and can only find one word: Jesus.

    I know from working in the church nursery for years that there is not a more thankless job in God's Kingdom. Yet, it is there that we can be used to bring families to church, used to "wash the feet" of weary parents, and used to teach God's love to little children.

    Guess what, it didn't stop there. After church, I asked Boomer if he wanted to go get a hamburger or pizza. That sweet boy looked at me and said, "Pizza." So, you can bet we got pizza.

    I love it when God works in powerful ways, and to this grandma, this was truly something big!

  

    

Unexpected Assurances

 This week I have been blessed with an unexpected week off work due to weather conditions. While I did use the week to work on my edema issues, I also wasted so much time.

What you might ask did I do with my allotted time? Unfortunately, I spent the majority of my time trying to guess how my life is going to play out!

You see the last five months of illness have not been kind to me. So, I'm curious what God has planned.

Today, God reminded me He has it all under control.

I read John 9:4, "We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent us. The night is coming, and then no one can work."

Matthew 6:34 states, “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." (Message Bible)

You see God has a plan and all my efforts are only guessing! But the epiphany came when I realized I am secure in whatever God has for me to do!

My friend, Lynn Reinstra's book Sacred Refuge states that, "Sacred refuge, then, is that place where God dwells with us, his people, and invites us to dwell deeply with him." (p. 13-14)

My future is in God's hands, but what a privilege that I can rest secure in His arms.

His Love Endures

 In Tricia Lott Williford's book, This Book is for You, she suggests making a list of your life's headlines. So, I did and soon I realized life is a road full of miracles!

I was born October 24, 1959 to teenage parents.
                             His love endures forever.

At three I learned the 23rd Psalm only instead of I shall not want, I said I ain't a gonna do it.
                            His love endures forever.

At seven my Granddaddy died of a massive heart attack.
                            His love endures forever.

My Great Grandma Whitfield died two days after my birthday.

                            His love endures forever.

At 13 my Daddy left my mom for a truck stop waitress.
                            His love endures forever.

At 14 my mom was diagnosed with cancer.
                            His love endures forever.

At 17 I graduated high school.
                            His love endures forever.

At 18 my mom died.
                            His love endures forever.

At 21 I graduated college.
                            His love endures forever.

At 21 I got m first teaching job in Springer, Oklahoma.
                            Hiss love endures forever.

At 23 I met Dan at Southwest Baptist Church in Ardmore, Oklahoma.
                            His love endures forever.

Our first kiss was at my Dad's house.
                            His love endures forever.

At 24 I married Dan at Southwest Baptist Church.
                            His love endures forever.

At 25 my grandmother, Mymomma, died, and my world changed.
                            His love endures forever.

At 25 we had Drew after a long difficult labor.
                            His love endures forever.

At 28 we moved to Gunnison, Colorado and met life long friends.
                            His love endures forever.

At 29 Drew was burned by a cup of coffee.

                            His love endures forever.

At 30 Matt was born.
                            His love endures forever.

At 31 we moved to Pennsylvania. (Norris was saved)
                            His love endures forever.

At 32 we moved to Madison, Georgia. Matt turned two the day we moved!
                            His love endures forever.

At 34 we moved to Macon, I started work at Central Fellowship Christian School and again we found life-long friends.

                            His love endures forever.

At 36 Gabe was born in Macon, Georgia.

                            His love endures forever.

At 37 we moved to Jackson, Georgia. I found friends closer than a brother!

                            His love endures forever.

At 41 I was the first teacher at Mary Buttrill Day School.

                            His love endures forever.

At 43 I started work at Piedmont Academy.

                            His love endures forever.

At 44 Drew graduated high school and started college at Berry.

                            His love endures forever.

At 45 I started work at North Mulberry Elementary School.

                            His love endures forever.

At 49 Matt graduated from High School.

                            His love endures forever

At 49 we filed for bankruptcy. My heart was broken.

                            His love endures forever.

At 50 my grandmother's ring was stolen from our house.

                            His love endures forever.

At 50 we bought our first house together.

                            His love endures forever.

At 52 Grandma Hestad passed away and the next week Dad moved in with us to start cancer treatments.

                            His love endures forever.

At 55 our first grandbaby, Remington Belle, is born.

                            His love endures forever.

At 55 Gabe graduates from High School.

                            His love endures forever.

At 56 Linda passed away. Even though she came into my life in a traumatic way I loved her dearly.

                            His love endures forever.

At 57 Grandpa Hestad passed away. We found out Grandpa had a financial secret.

                            His love endures forever.

At 57 Royal Rose Hestad was born.

                            His love endures forever.

At 58 Rex Atlas Hestad is born.

                            His love endures forever.

At 60 I'm diagnosed with congestive heart failure.

                 -I lost hearing in one ear.

                 -I retired from public school.

                 -I trusted an unknown future to an all-knowing God

                - I started teaching at Gordon and Piedmont during a pandemic. 

                            His love endures forever.

At 61 Matthew Boomer Hestad is born.

                            His love endures forever.

At 61 started back teaching full-time at Piedmont.

                            His love endures forever.

At 62 Boomer is diagnosed as autistic.

                            His love endures forever.

At 64 I was diagnosed with strep and seven days later can't walk - not once but twice.

                            His love endures forever.

At 65 I start a long recovery back to health.

                            His love endures forever.

Let Me Tell You About My Jesus

 After 10 weeks of illness, I'm tired. It started with strep throat, moved to a hospital stay, sepsis, gout, and weeks of recovery, only to do it again. Saturday (November 30th) was a very low day, I hurt and felt defeated. 

That's when God started moving.

Whitney sent me a blog post by Ann Voskamp.

Voskamp wrote:

"We want clarity —God just wants us to come closer.

We want to know the roadmap through the future —God just wants us to know real intimate relationship with Him right now.

We want to know what’s going to happen —God just wants us to not let anything that happens to ever stop us from going to Him."

And friend, that was me! I wanted to know why!

I got up Sunday morning and even though in pain, I went to church. Why? Because I firmly believe that God gives special grace when His children meet together.

God did not fail to dispense the grace I needed. Pastor Rob was preaching out of Hebrews 11 and reminded us that in those hard times when all we have is faith God will supply the grace needed.

Now if these two incidents had been all God had to say to me that would have been more than enough, but He wasn't done.

Jackie Hill Perry on November 20th posted, "Don't waste this trial." She stated, "Trials have a purpose: sanctification. So don't waste the opportunity to grow just because the growth is uncomfortable. God is working so let Him."

Now, my friend, I don't have to tell you that I have absolutely no clue what God is doing-none. However, I know God and I know that all of this is working for my good, and for now, that is what I will rest in!

In God's Timing

 How many times in life have you heard or will hear the phrase "In God's timing"? I've probably heard and said it hundreds of times, but yesterday when the preacher's wife said it - well it hit a little differently.

You see I've tried hard for two years to lose weight. I've tried HCG shots and a restricted diet, semiglutide shots, Weight Watchers, Noom, and Faster Way. So far nothing has just dropped the weight.

In April my boss decided I needed a change of scenery and moved me down several grade levels that will require walking and energy. I'm old!

Summer rolled in, my favorite time of the year! I could get back in the pool and exercise. Visions of a renewed teacher for those 4th graders danced in my head. Then three weeks into summer I pulled, tweaked, and angered (no one really knows) my IT band in my already painful legs.

So, Lord, what is going on. 

Then yesterday as Lynn prayed for me, I understood that God is working on me, and my timetable is not necessarily His.

Scripture confirms that all of our time is in God's control.

• Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"
• Isaiah 40:31 "But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
• Galatians 6:9 "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."
• Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

So, what does God have planned, only He knows, but I'm looking.

Songs that speak

 🎶On the road to Salvation I stick out my thumb and He gives me a ride...🎶Lyrics by the late great Rich Mullins; however, yesterday I couldn't shake off that there was so much more to the lyrics than poetic license.

Scripture teaches we were saved, we are being saved, and one day we will be saved. (Some of you just spit out your coffee.)

Ephesians 2:8 states, "For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not from yourselves; it is the gift of God..." Or theological term we've been justified.

1 Corinthians 1:18 tells us, "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." (sanctified)

Romans 13:11 states that one day we will be glorified, "And do this, understanding the occasion. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed."

Salvation, then, has three aspects:

• Past: We have been saved from the penalty of sin. We have been justified.
• Present: We are being saved from the power of sin. We are being sanctified.
• Future: We will be saved from the presence of sin. We will be glorified.

 However, I still need an answer for the reason I'm so moved by the words of the song. Perhaps a look at the word hitchhiker may help. 

A hitchhiker sticking out his thumb symbolizes his willingness to except help and a readiness for the next stage of the journey. The very act of hitchhiking implies trust in the unknown.

Mullins's use of the phrase gives us pause to reflect on the journey, the journey to glorification when we will no longer battle the effects of sin. In other words, to embrace the ride. 

Friend, I'm so thankful that on this road of salvation God is willing to walk with me.