Reflecting

 Looking back over this week I feel nothing but blessed. Even though it has been a hard pain week. The blessings have just overflowed.

Would I like to live my life pain free? Yes. Would I like to put in all this effort and see weight loss? Yes. 

But you know what - God has bigger plans! 

Gotquestions.org says, "Blessed speaks of our inner state of well-being, the prosperity of our souls in Christ. Blessedness comes from unhindered fellowship with God the Father through our Lord Jesus. To be blessed is to experience the full impact of God’s presence in our lives now and for all eternity."

The website goes on to say, "The Bible measures blessedness differently from how people of the world measure it: “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him” (James 1:12). To those who rest in God, He grants an inner state of joy that is unaffected by external trials."

Oh my friend, I pray today you feel His blessings on you!

Once

 Once there was a girl who was alone in the world.

She cried out to God to teach her how to trust Him.

He answered!

For 46 years God took her in and out of many trials. Always leading and providing a way. Some roads were rocky and dangerous, while others were smoother sailing. 

The girl learned to trust. She believed when others didn't. She just learned to believe he could and would walk with her.

Then one day the Lord said, "Do you trust me?" 

The girl's answered, "Yes."

The girl had a task before her that seemed impossible. Her body was wracked with pain, she was old. So, but she opened her Bible and God spoke to her.

He reminded her out of 1 Corinthians 1:27, "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong."

Out of Isaiah 55:8-9, "“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than yours."

Out of Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

In 2 Timothy 4:17, "But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength."

From Psalms 3:3, But you, O Lord, are a shield to me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."

Every day He gave a clear sign. So, on the day of the task the girl got up and once again prayed for help. And once again He answered in scripture, "I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears." (Psalm 34:4)

Once there was a girl and that girl was me!

Isaiah 12:2: 

Surely God is my salvation;

    I will trust and not be afraid.

The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense[a];
    he has become my salvation.”

 Literally two weeks ago, I went to our church's women's retreat. I remember leaving after the first session and foolishly saying to God, "I'm not sure this is useful my life's been pretty calm lately."

I remember when I said it I immediately said, "Please don't send any trials my way."

Oh how God must have laughed.

Now friend hear me good, me changing grade levels is insignificant in the scope of life. Many people are facing far greater hurdles - sick spouses and sick children. So for me to whine about this just feels wrong. 

But back to my conference, that first night Christina Fox mentioned that when we are surprised by "unwanted visitors" they take us hostage. Friend, since March 28th I've been a picture of a hostage. 

So what changed? I cried out to God. During our retreat Fox shared how it is not wrong for us to "express our feelings to God." To be honest with Him. To set my mind on who He is and to recount His faithfulness in the past. 

While this is not a problem for me many may struggle. This is why I try to be transparent in my writing, most of us really are a hot mess! However, if you need deeper understanding on how to face the "unwanted visitors" in life, then I strongly recommend Fox's book A Heart Set Free. It will definitely help you structure your prayer life similar to the Psalms.

Peace?

 Guilt - real or imaginary is a horrible burden. Apparently, if the last three weeks are any indication I'm suffering from imaginary guilt (according to Dan's diagnosis).

Let me explain, I'm one of those people who if you lose your cool or type out that belligerent email, I immediately question what I did to make you act that way. Even though logically, I know it is your problem.

So while you're sleeping like a baby, I'm wide awake wondering why you did what you did and replaying the conversations leading up to this disruption of my peace. 

In other words my peace is disturbed. 

And that's when I turn to Jesus (and Dan). I pray. I talk things out with my husband, who tries to understand this crazy quirk about me. Also, I immerse myself in God's Word.

Philippians 4:6-7 says, "“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” 

So even though I pray, leave it with God, and then a few hours later I take it back up. 

Romans 8:6 says, “The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” 

So then, as in all things, it comes down to do I believe God will do what He says. It is always, in my life at least, - do I trust God. 

Jerry Bridges, author of Trusting God wrote, "Don't believe everything you think. You cannot be trusted to tell yourself the truth. Stay in The Word."

He further points out, "Trust is not a passive state of mind. It is a vigorous act of the soul by which we choose to lay hold on the promises of God and cling to them despite the adversity that at times seeks to overwhelms us."

The psalmist knew this and in Psalm 85:8 says, “The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” 

Oh Lord, help me be governed by the Spirit in all I do or say.

Lamenting

 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

We've all heard this verse but what the heck does it mean? I mentioned this morning that I off think of Frank Perretti's examples in one of his books where the demons sit on the roofs and dip their fingers in and stir the pot. They disrupt peace and trigger our minds. 

Petretti's books are fiction or are they.

How else do I explain things. I am prone to over think. If you send a hateful email, I take it to heart. I stress over it. If you send a colleague a nasty email, I stress why you would do that. 

So for the third or fourth weekend in a row I'm stressed over - emails and work. I'm suppose to be learning about Jesus, yet, I'm busy over thinking. 

However, right before Peter tells you the devil wants to devour you. He says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. "(vs. 6-7)

Could God be giving me a personal view of lamenting: crying out to Him for help and trusting that help is on the way?

Turn to God-

I cry aloud to God,
aloud to God, and he will hear me.
In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord (Psalm 77:1)

Tell God what's wrong-

God, I feel torn in my spirit. I feel like I have caused stress to others. My spirit is at unrest. I forsee confrontation.

Ask Boldly-

Lord, I do not just ask for peace, I ask for you to resolve the conflict. To handle the situation. "Consider and answer me..." (Psalm 13)

Trust -

Your word says,

"But I have trusted in your steadfast love;

my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord,

because he has dealt bountifully with me. (Psalm 13:5-6, ESV)

Perhaps practicing lamenting restore a right spirit and renews our sight.

 Deaths ~ Births ~ Miracles

Social media is a strange creature, daily I'm reminded of the brevity of life as I read of someone's passing. I hurt with these friends and families that must say good-byes to their loved ones. 

Then interspersed between sadness, I see beautiful, precious new babies being born. Former students starting families and friends having grandchildren.

Now this would be enough to know that there's God, but no, this week we've seen miracles as well. A senior in a horrific wreck comes home in three days. A cancer patient who has not one but two brain surgeries in a week goes home. Nothing short of miracles.

And over all these events is God at work. 

In Bible we are studying the miracles of Jesus. Yesterday's miracle was raising Lazarus from the dead, but it was this verse that got me, "Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.” (John 11:41-42)

"For the benefit of these people," and I looked around at my week full of deaths ~ births ~ and miracles, and wondered how anyone could doubt him when obviously he is still at work.

Lessons Learned

I've been gluten free for over a year. I'm do not have celiacs, so gluten won't kill me. However, with my Hosimoto's gluten is like a poison. Now I'm an intelligent woman and I get this! 

Unfortunately, Saturday I decided to throw caution to the wind. I ate bread! Well, it took about an hour for the inflammation to start accumulating and then just an overall feeling of yuck took over. So, why did I do it, because I could. I felt sad at all I've given up and still not seeing the results I want in my body; however, my choices weren't constructive at all.

It was a perfect example of how sin creeps into our lives. We start out thinking, "Oh, I'll just do this (insert sin) a little, and the next thing we know it has taken over. 

You see I knew not to eat the bread. I knew what it would do. But I started thinking, "Everybody else eats bread and they don't gain weight. Even though I knew it wouldn't be beneficial. 

I'm so glad that God's grace is new each and every day. Thankfully, that grace is in abundance and greater than all our sin!